Famous in Germany

Yep I'm famous in Germany!








{above} My name on a fountain

Monash University racist?

Viewing Property No. 1006941

Three rooms for you to choose, COME NOW AND CHOOSE FIRST!
Clayton - $140 p.w.
Listed : 19 Jan 2007

Asian students are welcomed as well as all students.Central heating and cooling

---

Above is an ad listed in Monash University's off-campus student accommodation database (http://www.mrs.monash.edu.au/). Does Monash approve of the distiction between asian and non-asian students? Well probably not... and they probably also don't take responsibility for the ad content in their database either... but still a funny ad eh? Maybe someone should have a word to Jane Tee (the person who listed the ad)... racist? terrorist? who knows... could be both! or.. far more likely neither.

My friend Michael also writes on this topic.

An Experiment

To my dearest reader:

I have decided to conduct an experiment that I want *you*, that's right, YOU to help in. You don't have to do anything big at all - It's REALLY EASY!

What I have done is this: I have set up the software used to power Wikipedia on my own server and want to see what becomes of it if people just edit it without moderation (or at least, very limited moderation). At the time of posting, it has no theme or content except the first page which basically says exactly what I just have.

So without further ado, I present to you http://www.amoeba.org.au/ - do not forget the www when typing it into your browser. *It will not load if you exclude the www*

Much love,
Jason

Are you a Mr. Pat?

Everybody, no matter where you're from, has a Mr. Pat in their life.

Imagine a person so calm that nothing can shake him. Someone who drinks tea and smokes a cigarette using a cigarette holder. Someone who pours the beer out of the can into a cup before drinking, a scarf in winter and summer... and has red hair.
If you thought this was as bad as it could get, add vegeterianism, only one enemy and a suit jacket for no apparent reason. Sounds like a nice guy? Wrong.


Note the died black hair - some call him the burnt match stick... yet still, the calmness remains:
* takes baths, long ones
* sits in couches in stores, ie. Myer, and says "ahhhhh" when he sits down
* drinks tea
* goes on long walks to sit on benches and just think
* admire natures beauty


As mentioned before, Mr. Pat only has one enemy, Carl Burnham. Once Mr. Pat got so mad at Carl Burnham his hair turned so red it caught fire.


This young man (shown above), Burnham, is Mr Pats only enemy. By looking at his pictures (which are mostly black and white) one would believe he has natural dark hair...right? ...WRONG. Burnham is the biggest burnt match stick going around. He and Pat were both in competition to be the token matchstick until one day Burnham took it a step furthur, Dyed his eyebrows. Since then he has been Pats competition and only enemy. One would put it down to a school yard scuffle although those who know them personally know its more like the Israelis vs. the Palestinians.

I think we all know a Mr. Pat in our lives. It's a shame, but they exist and must be tollerated. I invite you to visit Mr. Pat's MySpace profile. Also, read this previous encounter with Mr. Pat.

Smokers walk amongst us

It may come as a surprise, but a lot people these days smoke. People like young Sampson:

Young Sampson is a victim of the Marlboro man. Sampson has joined forces to become a smoke terrorist. One would be correct in saying a "suicide smoker", if you will. What we need to understand here is that a smoke terrorist is not very different to your traditional terrorist - they die to kill others and they are willing to die for what they believe in. Namely, to smoke and to force others to smoke.
There is a common misconception here amongst the non-smoking population and that is smoking is addictive - it is not. They just smoke (but can quit at any time they want) to make others passively smoke. But that is not all.

It is a little known fact that smokers conspire to burn - not buildings, but people. Little Sampson is now one of these. Poor, once innocent little Sampson is now part of the group of people who participate in burning day. I ask that readers click the burning day link to fully understand the nature of these beasts.

All is not lost though for through their foul play lies the solution. This is because that in smoking, they cause themselves to become like the pictures below...



This in effect should deter future potential terrorists from stooping to their level - pure evil.

www.quit.org.au

New Year's Resolution

To give a monocle to and shave the head of this man (Michael) to make him look like the Monopoly man:

Crappy grater from the Queen Victoria Market

Dear Readers,
If you were readers of my MySpace blog, you'd be aware that occasionally my friend Matthew and I often act like idiots on MSN Messenger and try to convince people of ridiculous things and often make them apologise for it. I refer you to previous efforts such as Mr. Pat, and the Ritchies cheese sampler.

Featured in this post is a conversation unedited (although annotated) in it's entirety between Mattew, Daniela and myself regarding a crappy plastic grater (the kind you see on TV) from her in the Queen Victoria Marketplace in Melbourne. This, of course, never happened but it's funny to try to make her apologise... some people may find it just stupid and to those I say "Yes I know that you may think so, but I don't exactly care so don't bother telling me." The email address here has been altered to avoid spamming.

Enjoy!

(18:51:39) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com entered the room.
(18:51:39) Jason entered the room.
(18:51:39) Matt... entered the room.
(18:52:10) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: does he now
(18:52:16) Jason: hey
(18:52:19) Matt...: he does indeed
(18:52:22) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: elo
(18:52:24) Matt...: this is the one jason
(18:52:28) Jason: QVM?
(18:52:34) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: lol what
(18:52:48) Matt...: QVM
(18:53:04) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: what does that mean
(18:53:18) Matt...: your workplace?
(18:53:22) Matt...: marketplace...
(18:54:01) Jason: I just want to know what it is that makes you feel that what you do is right.
(18:54:21) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: a shot of vodka in the morning
(18:54:35) Matt...: what did she do to you jason
(18:54:46) Jason: Let's just say that she's a good sales person.
(18:54:54) Jason: With no ethics.
(18:55:26) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: hmmm i worked at safeway, a modeling agency, pet shop and finance company lol
(18:55:33) Jason: q.v.m.
(18:55:44) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: qv as in the city
(18:55:53) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: i hate you both lol]
(18:56:11) Matt...: now now
(18:56:16) Matt...: calm down spider
(18:56:24) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: shush midget
(18:56:43) Matt...: nasty sales person
(18:56:59) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: north american spotted pigmy gopher
(18:57:39) Matt...: how annoying
(18:57:53) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: yeah it happens band boy
(18:57:54) Jason: why do this? I just don't understand why you are so annoying.
(18:58:08) Jason: How many other customers have contacted you?
(18:58:23) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: cant say many
(18:58:33) Matt...: cos you're too annoying?
(18:58:47) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: could be.. that or i ignored everyone?
(18:59:30) Jason: Do you cook at home?
(18:59:49) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: yep
(18:59:52) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: do you
(18:59:59) Jason: can't say I do these days
(19:00:00) Matt...: im sure he use to
(19:00:03) Matt...: before the incident
(19:00:15) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: and what incident would that be
(19:00:24) Matt...: ohh oh now you wanna know
(19:00:28) Matt...: jason best tell her
(19:00:39) Jason: Surely you'd be aware already
(19:01:07) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: nawww so you should tell me
(19:01:21) Jason: Does cheap crappy plastic grater mean anything to you?
(19:01:42) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: haha nooope but sounds interesting
(19:02:18) Matt...: you're lying
(19:02:19) Matt...: ffs
(19:02:25) Matt...: stop acting stupid
(19:02:29) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: ffs?
(19:02:34) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: nm'
(19:02:37) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: i got it
(19:02:47) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: lazy git
(19:03:06) Matt...: nm?
(19:03:10) Matt...: bit lazy
(19:03:29) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: quiet you, go sit in your corner and face the wall
(19:03:46) Jason: Matthew I don't know whether I can deal with this..
(19:04:19) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: why would that be Jason
(19:04:28) Jason: because you're so annoying.
(19:04:36) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: yeah ya get that
(19:05:07) Matt...: she talks as if she were in grade 6
(19:05:30) Jason: couldn't have said it better myself.
(19:05:49) Matt...: i blame the parents
(19:06:28) Jason: and her friends.. if she has any.
(19:06:37) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: would those be the parents that gave me up as a kid or the ones that left me in melb to live at the beach :P
(19:07:07) Matt...: both
(19:07:18) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: meee to
(19:07:22) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: *too
(19:08:04) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: shouldnt you be with bird woman or something midget?
(19:08:05) Jason: I'm stuck with this shitty grater thanks to you
(19:08:38) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: haha nooo worries.. if it makes you feel better i told all my bosses to fuck off when i left the store
(19:08:44) Matt...: bird woman...midget....shes witty eh jason?
(19:09:07) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: says the guy that calls steveo cave man
(19:09:07) Jason: yeah.... i wish she'd stop
(19:09:20) Matt...: her wit just isnt doing her any favours
(19:09:29) Jason: She wasn't even working in a store - she lies too much
(19:09:42) Jason: QVM
(19:09:55) Matt...: hardly a store
(19:11:09) Jason: she probably cant even work out what qvm means... her head's too clogged with wit
(19:11:28) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: you two hurt my head
(19:11:51) Matt...: whys that
(19:12:44) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: you just do
(19:13:36) Jason: Okay I'll help her along... Queen Victoria Market, fool.
(19:13:57) Matt...: we just do?
(19:14:06) Matt...: i love those deep answers :)
(19:15:04) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: i know, they're so meaningful
(19:16:41) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: i didnt work at queen vic market though tool
(19:17:00) Matt...: here come the lies
(19:17:01) Jason: You sold me the grater at the vic market, hence you worked there
(19:17:09) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: lol nooo
(19:17:27) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: i worket at QV supermarket, its on lonsdale st
(19:17:29) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: fool
(19:17:31) Jason: lip ring?
(19:17:32) Matt...: jason is never wrong
(19:18:06) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: yeah got one, but didnt back then,
(19:18:12) Jason: back when?
(19:18:32) Jason: haha you can't even remember working there?? I don't believe that for one second.
(19:18:34) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: when i worked at QV dingbat
(19:18:54) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: ive only been there once and i was about 9
(19:19:03) Jason: haha dingbat eh.. what kind of a loser can't even remember working at the queen vic market??
(19:19:07) Matt...: there are holes in your story
(19:19:18) Matt...: it's me! says:
when i worked at QV dingbat
(19:19:22) Matt...: you admitted to it
(19:19:24) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: lol i spose that would be me ;)
(19:19:35) Matt...: it's me! says:
ive only been there once
(19:19:37) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: QV is different to queen vic market
(19:19:39) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: idiot
(19:19:41) Matt...: fired on the first day?
(19:20:01) Jason: Yes we know that QV is not the same as the vic market
(19:20:08) Jason: QV is near the state library
(19:20:08) Matt...: dont you mean dingbat?
(19:20:15) Jason: the market is near flagstaff station
(19:20:19) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: shut it
(19:20:35) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: yeah.. good to know you passed melbourne geography there little one
(19:20:41) Jason: I do know I was
(19:20:44) Jason: clearly you do not
(19:20:46) Jason: you failed.
(19:20:52) Matt...: a failure?
(19:21:08) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: naw
(19:21:24) Matt...: failed english too i see?
(19:21:55) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: me fail english? thats unpossable
(19:22:31) Jason: look, drop this humour, it doesn't work.
(19:22:38) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: it amuses me
(19:22:49) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: thats the most important thing :D
(19:23:38) Jason: Did selling me the grater amuse you too?
(19:23:46) Matt...: it must have
(19:23:51) Matt...: small things amuse small minds
(19:23:52) Matt...: ooo ooo
(19:24:00) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: lol yes it does
(19:24:15) Jason: so we have a confession?
(19:24:18) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: I'm as dumb as a box of hammers
(19:24:19) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: so yes
(19:24:40) Matt...: calm down champ
(19:25:02) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: will do
(19:25:23) Matt...: thats great
(19:25:35) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: no worries ninja
(19:25:44) Jason: What am I supposed to do with this grater?
(19:25:46) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: whats the mp3? An email was actually sent to her address containing some random MP3 with no subject nor body message from my account but I deny it
(19:25:55) Jason: that as we established, you sold me.
(19:25:59) Jason: What are you talking about?
(19:26:03) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: umm use it as a chew toy
(19:26:11) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: Mr Rigby As seen in the from field of the email
(19:26:35) Matt...: ooo
(19:26:53) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: there's a ghost in here
(19:27:07) Jason: So you remember my name eh
(19:27:23) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: nooope
(19:27:30) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: just said it on the email
(19:27:34) Jason: What email?
(19:27:43) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: email you sent
(19:27:47) Jason: I sent no email
(19:28:05) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: if you say so
(19:28:08) Matt...: more lies?
(19:28:18) Matt...: jason never lies
(19:28:34) Matt...: and is never wrong
(19:28:42) Matt...: never has been
(19:28:44) Matt...: never will be
(19:28:54) Matt...: where did the email idea come from
(19:29:19) Matt...: a trip turned nasty?
(19:29:36) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: Matty are you Jason's bitch?
(19:29:43) Jason: eh?
(19:30:25) Matt...: i dont think she understands the concept of friendship
(19:30:35) Jason: I can see why
(19:32:12) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: ahh yeah, but you're still talking to me matey
(19:34:18) Matt...: your point?
(19:34:55) Matt...: just got an email from you saying that you're a jerk... what's with that?
(19:35:03) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: If I was so anoying etc, why are you still here jason
(19:35:07) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: ha
(19:35:30) Jason: I just want an apology for selling me such a crappy grater at the vic market!
(19:35:41) Matt...: and refund?
(19:35:45) Jason: ideally
(19:35:53) Jason: but I doubt it would happen
(19:37:05) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: yeah you would be correct in assuming that
(19:37:32) Matt...: how cheap of you
(19:37:34) Jason: considering that "I'm a jerk" email you sent matt.
(19:37:47) Matt...: yea what was with that?
(19:38:21) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: Quiet you
(19:38:41) Matt...: i wasnt making any noise
(19:38:42) Matt...: moron
(19:38:57) Matt...: shes very strange
(19:39:18) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: Yeah, but you still talk to me :D
(19:40:01) Jason: I just want an apology for your dodgy sale at the vic market of the grater.
(19:40:04) Matt...: did i mention deep?
(19:41:02) Matt...: now silent
(19:41:21) Matt...: must be thinking up how she will say sorry
(19:41:39) Jason: i hope so
(19:41:53) Matt...: what else could she be doing
(19:42:23) Jason: thinking up amazingly witty things to say?
(19:42:29) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: sorry on the phone to a friends mum, be back in 5min
(19:42:44) Jason: friend eh?
(19:43:41) Matt...: friends mum
(19:43:42) Jason: maybe she means her mum's friend.
(19:43:45) Matt...: snitching on them
(19:45:31) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: naw
(19:46:34) Jason: Apology?
(19:46:55) Jason: We've already established that you were there and sold me the item.
(19:47:14) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: when did we establish that?
(19:47:50) Jason: (19:23:38) Jason: Did selling me the grater amuse you too?
(19:24:00) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: lol yes it does
(19:24:15) Jason: so we have a confession?
(19:47:58) Jason: and you called me Mr Rigby.
(19:48:11) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: ahh i hate you
(19:48:24) Jason: and the only way you could know that is from the vic market
(19:48:29) Matt...: busted
(19:48:34) Jason: because I don't know you from anywhere else.
(19:48:36) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: lol noooo from the email
(19:48:36) Matt...: how did you know his name?
(19:48:39) Matt...: email?
(19:48:40) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: email
(19:48:41) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: said it
(19:48:43) Matt...: jason did you send an email?
(19:48:47) Jason: never was an email sent.
(19:50:37) Matt...: hmm well then she is lying
(19:50:42) Matt...: because we both know jason never lies
(19:50:53) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: lol
(19:50:57) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: i can prove it
(19:51:00) Jason: go on
(19:52:32) Matt...: yea come on
(19:52:34) Matt...: i bet you have nothing
(19:52:41) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: lol give me a sec damn fools
(19:52:48) Matt...: give me your email password
(19:52:49) Jason: she can't have anything because I did not send any emails
(19:52:54) Matt...: and ill check for myself?
(19:54:09) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: ooh yeah like im gona give you my password
(19:55:21) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: ok nut bags here ya go
(19:56:24) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: damnit i cant send it by this
(19:56:27) Matt...: come on fool
(19:56:51) Matt...: prob a fake screenshot?
(19:57:10) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: check the other window
(19:57:25) Matt...: ??
(19:57:28) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: I'm not that clever
(19:57:29) Matt...: there is no other window
(19:57:58) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: there is!!!!
(19:58:02) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: ahhhh
(19:58:18) Matt...: ??
(19:58:20) Matt...: more lies
(19:58:26) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: nooo
(19:58:33) Jason: I think we can all clearly see that there is no questioning the events that resulted in my acquiring a dodgy grater
(19:58:47) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: ahhh
(19:58:55) Jason: Now I just want an apology - is that so hard?
(19:59:43) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: I don't apologise for things I didn't do though Jason
(19:59:54) Jason: Matthew, did she do it?
(20:00:55) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: The monkey wouldn't accept it
(20:00:55) Matt...: she must have
(20:01:06) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: ahh stupid grater
(20:01:14) Matt...: she did admit to doing it
(20:01:41) Jason: So why no apology?? Why is she still trying to deny it?
(20:01:47) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: Noo
(20:01:57) Matt...: possibly taking drugs?
(20:02:06) Jason: possibly? I'd say probably.
(20:02:23) Jason: Alcohol at the least... probably smokes too...
(20:02:36) Jason: An apology is so easy! I just don't understand this person.
(20:03:17) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: naaaw im innocent
(20:04:07) Matt...: i thought she was better than this
(20:04:19) Jason: doesn't look like she is
(20:05:14) Jason: you can't just turn around and deny that you just confessed
(20:05:34) Jason: Would you ever entertain such a notion Matthew?
(20:05:50) Matt...: truely awful
(20:05:55) Matt...: jason i will say sorry
(20:06:01) Matt...: because i let you into here
(20:06:09) Matt...: and shes been nothing but rude
(20:06:12) Jason: It's not your fault she's rude.
(20:07:24) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: lol
(20:07:30) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: are you both on drugs?
(20:07:38) Jason: are you serious?
(20:08:07) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: indeed I am Jason
(20:08:17) Jason: Then, no, we are not.
(20:08:33) Matt...: and of course jason would be right when saying that
(20:08:37) Matt...: because he is always right
(20:08:51) Jason: Matthew, I really expected better... I mean it takes such little effort to just apologise for a wrong-doing.
(20:09:56) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: I'm not going to apologise you hussy sooo giiiiveee uppp
(20:10:28) Jason: Why not?
(20:10:49) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: I didn't do anything wrong fools
(20:10:53) Jason: you admitted it
(20:10:57) Matt...: you ssure did
(20:11:12) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: ahhhh never
(20:11:33) Matt...: there is something wrong with you
(20:11:53) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: As with you my little muppet
(20:12:33) Matt...: ??
(20:12:43) Matt...: great comeback
(20:12:52) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: Thanks I thought so
(20:13:15) Jason: I just don't understand how after confessing, you just deny everything
(20:13:37) Jason: It's not like I'm even asking for a refund
(20:13:50) Jason: Just an apology - it's so simply
(20:13:52) Jason: simple*
(20:14:11) Jason: Yet after CONFESSING you refuse.
(20:15:09) Matt...: so simple yet complicated for her
(20:15:42) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: ahh but IF I give an apology for this grater that I have never seen then you may make me apologise for lots of things and I'm no pushover ya damn xanthippe
(20:19:02) Matt...: you admitted to it
(20:19:26) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com: never
(20:19:39) Jason: you did
(20:20:24) Matt...: more lies
(20:20:54) Matt...: sorry jason
(20:20:57) Matt...: she is a bad person
(20:21:26) daniela_xxxx@hotmail.com left the room.
(20:22:26) Matt... left the room.

I have a spoon. It's mine. It's big. And I like it.

Greetings! As obvious as it may seem, this is the first post of my new bloggy that I call My Big Spoon. The name is as random as can be because the lovely "Blogger" has pretty much every name that is good taken... so if anyone else was wanting My Big Spoon, too bad, I have it, it's mine and I like it so you cannot have it... don't ask for it because I will say no.

Now, I feel that since I'm a nice person filled with love and alike, it is my duty to make this post actually worth reading. So to do this I feel that you, dear reader, should have some interesting things thrown at you to go ahead and investigate at your free will.
Number the first: Music is good. Given this as fact, it hence follows that free music is even better as is new music. www.triplejunearthed.com
Number the second: Birds are falling out of the sky for no reason known. Interesting reading so you should probably read about it. They are also dying because of other reasons. Read read read.
Number the third: I have a house that I will be moving into soon which is a good thing. Be happy! (Please don't go ahead and investigate this as it would freak me out and I may have to contact the police.)

Mmmkay well that does me for now. Come back soon and see if I've written more. Some days there may be multiple posts, however the drought in Australia may cause me to not write as stage-six water restrictions come into force; the prohibition of drinking on every second day. As we all know, lack of water generally results in death which tends to prevent me from writing.